Today we will talk about young Russian women who rush to the United States in pursuit of the American dream. However, not only young, and not only newly arrived in America: many of our girls and women go down the same road, regardless of age, social status, income, or place of residence.
Have you noticed how many women and how often they become hostages of their children? Have we thought about what makes young girls and not so young to give birth to children without getting married? Have children with foreigners, without understanding their desires, intentions, plans, as well as those who do not have their own plans for living together?
Many women naively believe that giving birth to a child outside marriage, they give birth to a child “for themselves”. And it has become fashionable. Indeed, if the biological father of the child does not care who is his child, he is not eager to establish paternity, does not insist on meetings with the child, does not want to support him, then we can say that the plan “gave birth for herself” was a success; we are accustomed to this state of affairs while living in Russia, and we consider it quite normal for ourselves. Moving to the USA, people bring their own mentality with them... And here the plan of a happy life with their child collapses like a house of cards. Foreign men (in general) and American men (in particular) do not want to give up their parental rights, and are seeking their implementation.
The fact is that the law of any country always stands on the side of the child and is based on international treaties and conventions, at the forefront of which is the right of the child to live and be brought up in the family. No court in any country in the world will refuse a father to participate in the life of his child – if there was his desire, the mechanism exists and it is well developed. But many women are faced with this after the birth of the child. Reluctance to build relationships with the man, denial of his parental rights, leads to a tense relationship and the development of conflicts.
I will cite a few examples from practice.
1. In international relations, a daughter was born from a Russian mother, let’s call her Anastasia, and an American father. The child was born in Russia. The father, whose daughter appeared at almost 60, doted on her. However, her thirty-year-old mother did not consider him either as a husband, or as a partner, or as the father of their common daughter. As soon as she met the person with whom she decided to start a family, she cut off the biological father and erased him from the girl’s life. Judicial proceedings have begun. Now there is thejudgment, which the mother is forced to execute, although she prevents this in every possible way, for which measures of coercion were applied to her: to date, the bailiff service has restricted her from leaving the Russian Federation, and an arrest warrant has been issued against her in New York State.
2. Olga lived in New York since her youth. However, either study, work, or the period of personality development... By the age of 38, she was still unmarried, and she had no children. One day she met John. John was 15 years younger than our heroine, and she did not consider him as a husband. She became pregnant, but the relationship did not work out, and they did not live together. And after the birth of the child, it was not possible to agree: John went to the Family Court. The court established paternity and forbade the mother to take the child out of the State of New York. Taking advantage of the fact that the child was born out of wedlock, she applied for Russian citizenship through the Russian consulate, received a Russian passport for the girl, however, the existence of an injunction prevented her from returning to Russia with the child, even though she had a Russian passport.
3. Oxana came to the United States on the bride’s visa. But she quickly realized that the man she had chosen was not her ideal. Being pregnant, she flew to Russia. Her parents helped her buy an apartment in St. Petersburg, where she moved from her native Novosibirsk. It took my client 6 years to find his ex-bride and his son... We went to court with a lawsuit to establish paternity and to determine the procedure of communication with the child. Despite fierce battle in the courtroom, our lawsuit was fully satisfied. The child did not know his father, moreover, he did not know about his existence... When the father began to communicate with the child, the child refused to believe him that his father was American, and his mother had once lived in America. Through tears, pain, and stress, the child found out that all his little life, his mother had been deceiving him. How will this affect his destiny? Can he forgive his mother? All our actions have long shadows, sometimes lifetime ones.
4. Natalia grew up in America. Her mother brought her to the United States as a child, her father stayed in Russia. She grew up and met Jack, and she fell in love with him very quickly. After the birth of her daughter, Natalia went to Russia to her father. Her failed bridegroom went to court and demanded that she and her child return to America. The case was adjourned 12 times before the court passed custody of the child to the father and issued a warrant for the arrest of the mother. She did not crack up and did not come. Never.
All these cases are extremely painful and emotional, it is very difficult to conduct them, because regardless of whether you represent the side of the father or mother, only children suffer as a result of which they become a bargaining chip in the confrontation between father and mother.